Stuffed Animals
Primates Play Drums

Boy, there isn’t a minute’s rest at the SZ. The day Karl and I return from Platypus Archipelago, we not only hear of Cromley’s bad behavior, but of a commotion from the primate wing of the zoo! Apparently, many of our stuffed monkeys have been trying to start a band. . . And it’s not going so well. From what we’ve been able to gather so far, it was Brom and Gex and Raita who originally had the idea. They were thinking a three-piece surf/soul/Dark Wave sort of experimental sound project would be just the thing for three monkeys to do over the summer.

But news spreads quickly among apes, and soon Gordon wanted in. They said sure, fine, whatever, it’s all cool. But Gordon’s long mustache worried the three, and it wasn’t long before Gordon was confirming their suspicions, saying that the band wasn’t “folky” enough, that they needed a washboard and banjo. He also called upon the only known wash-tub bass player in the zoo: Mambo.

To keep things balanced, and perhaps to get the overall band idea swinging back their way, Brom, Gex, and Raita talked to Bilbie. He’d always been a big fan of experimental noise rock, and was a big, intimidating gorilla. That, they thought, would surely give them the clout they needed to get things back on track.

But Gordon put up quite a resistance, and continued pushing for folk songs in the key of C. I didn’t see them until I caught them trying to escape the zoo through a method they’d read in someon’s blog, and even then, they were doing nothing but bickering.

“Where are you going, guys?” I asked.

“We have a time slot booked at Big Rhino Horn Recording Studio today. We’re recording our first song!” Gex said. “It’s going to be like nothing you’ve ever heard bef–”

“It’s going to be an instant folk classic,” Gordon said, cutting Gex off in mid-sentence. Then the usual howling stuffed monkey brawl began, and they were tumbling around in the dirt by my feet for quite a time. When they slowed down, and seemed sufficiently exhausted, I kneeled down and asked them (knowing fully by now what was going on), “So, which instruments does everybody play?”

“Instruments?” they said in unison. “Oh, no! We forgot to learn how to play any instruments!”

“Okay, gang,” I said. “Why don’t you just forget about recording studio time, and come with me to the StuffedZoo soundproof music lessons and practice room.”

“We have one of those?” Bilbie asked, scratching his gorilla head.

“Of course!” I told him. “This is the StuffedZoo – we have everything here. We want all of our animals to have the best life possible. That is, until they get adopted and given permanent homes and new best human friends. Why don’t you all follow me, and you can start by learning to play the drums. We have a really cool electric drum kit, and each of you can pick a drum to play.”

“Wow, really?” Gordon said, finally dropping his scowl, and smiling. “Those are SO COOL. Let’s go everyone!”

And the monkeys became friends again, and together, are learning basic rhythm – which, in this case, also means learning teamwork. Brom plays the snare drum, Bilbie plays the floor tom, Mambo plays the bass drum, Gordon plays the mounted toms, and Gex and Raita play all the cymbals. It sounds . . . well, they’re still learning.

Until next time!

V

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