Cromley’s Summer
Hi everyone,
I’m sure it says somewhere that this is V posting this, but it’s actually me, Finn. V and Karl haven’t returned to the SZ from their Platypus thingie yet. But as you may know, I am now in charge of rainy-day activities and anti-boredom acts here at the zoo.
And as I’ve been continuing to wrack my brain for fun, safe things to do, I get the message that Cromley has been on some serious adventures that the other animals are becoming jealous of.
Let me just say this now: Cromley the Stuffed Crocodile has done these things WITHOUT permission, encouragement, or even knowledge of any Stuffed Zoo staff – myself included.
That said, he’s been doing some really AWESOME stuff this summer, and I myself can’t help but be a little jealous.
First, Cromley took an arts and crafts class, which culminated in him building his own model helicopter! And actually, it wasn’t even a small one – Cromley himself (who is 36 inches long, by the way) could get INTO it and fly it with the hand-build remote! The helicopter was mostly popsicle sticks, rubber bands, and finger paint, but I guess it worked just fine.
Next, Cromley took a class on preventing and putting out fires. Doesn’t seem the most exciting, but wait until you get to the end of the list.
The third, and most amazingly dangerous and brave thing Cromley did, was take skydiving lessons! He went WAY up in the air in an airplane, and did his first jump with his trainer, Bill. Cromley and Bill fell a few thousand feet – with Cromley’s stuffed tail flapping in the wind, his fuzzy jaw open – and pulled their parachute open. According to Bill, this was the first ever documented case of a stuffed animal skydiving without its owner (although most professional skydivers always take their favorite stuffed animal with them – if they fit).
After the initial jump, Cromley went again – by himself that time. Again, no one here even KNEW about it! We’d be too afraid of Cromley getting hurt to let him go with our permission. What a sneaky croc!
And, if that weren’t bad enough, I found Cromley’s plans for his next and ULTIMATE dangerous adventure:
He was (according to the crudely-drawn diagrams made in green crayon) going to fly his craft helicopter as high as it would go, then jump out of it with his new parachute, and then run (well, crawl is more like it) to the crash site, and put out his burning popsicle-stick chopper with the skills he learned in his fire-preventing-and-putting-out-class! He was going to be the first-ever stuffed crocodile action star!
Well, I told, Jane, Emma, Abby, and Dr. Parker what I had discovered, and immediately asked if I could try it, too. “Of course not!” they yelled. “No one here is allowed to do such dangerous things!”
So I went to Cromley’s exhibit that night and told him the news – that we all knew he’d been sneaking out, doing progressively dangerous things, and that we knew his plans to crash his toy helicopter.
“I’m sorry, Cromley, but it’s for your own good. We know you are an amazing crocodile, but this plan is just foolish! Besides, your helicopter would never fly high enough for you to skydive from, and probably wouldn’t even catch fire if it DID crash.”
“I know,” Cromley muttered. “It’s just – how will I ever make it to Hollywood if I can’t prove I’m a great action star who does his own stunts?”
“Wh. . . What?”
“Yes – of course that’s what I’ve been doing all this for. What did you think, I was just being wild and dangerous for no reason?! I’m a stuffed animal – we don’t LIKE this kind of stuff – we like laying on big beds and watching movies.
“But you know who gets to lay on the BIGGEST beds – movie stars! So I’m going to become one – if only I can get some cool shots of me jumping out of exploding helicopters and stuff.”
“Oh, Cromley, you don’t have to do all that dangerous stuff! Most action movies have their big, explosive danger scenes made with computers. No one is actually in danger. You don’t have to be doing such silly things to be in the movies. You should put away the parachute, and take some acting lessons instead.”
“Oh, I see. That’d be WAY safer! And I could probably practice acting from my bed, right?”
“That’s right,” I told him, relieved that he was coming to his senses (but still a little jealous that he went skydiving before me). “And as soon as you can act, you’re sure to get all the parts written for stuffed crocodiles!”
