Stuffed Zoo Staring Contest Results
Hi everyone, Finn again. If you’ve been keeping up with the SZ blog, you know that I’ve just been hired as the SZ’s new Indoor Rainy Day Physical Activity Coalition and Anti-Boredom Committee (I’m only an intern). My first anti-boredom task was to come up with a fun indoor activity that all the animals could participate in equally. Brilliantly, I decided we should have a staring contest!
The contest was scheduled for Monday, but I had no idea stuffed animals were such good stare-ers! It had to be extended all the way into Wednesday, and judges had to work in shifts in order to get some sleep.
Just like out other events (remember the primate snowball fight? The chess challenge?), this one was not without its problems. First, in the opening rounds, Gairy the stuffed buffalo was disqualified from his match with Ralph the stuffed river otter, for being TOO fuzzy! Ralph complained that Gairy’s eyes – and therefore his illegal blinking – were being hidden under his fur. Jane, judging the contest at that level, had to politely agree.
In the second rounds (which took place early Tuesday morning and were judged by Emma), Pinto the small stuffed bear was caught cheating in his match against Buckwald the stuffed badger. Apparently, he’d taken advantage of his unique stuffed-animal floppiness and thin body, and secretly replaced himself with a small bear-skin rug. Buckwald put up a valiant effort, staring at the rug for an astonishing 18 minutes.
Although Buckwald did not make it to the final rounds, he was given a special medal for his sportsmanship and honor.
Other problems included the angle of staring at a stuffed hammerhead shark (Micah, our resident hammerhead, had to stare two competitors in the eyes at once, to make sure he wasn’t secretly blinking. This was judged by both Abby and myself), and stuffed crocodiles. Real crocodiles, as you know, have an inner eyelid that they can see through. Such a feature would be very helpful – even considered cheating – in a staring contest. Cromley the stuffed crocodile, after a veterinary inspection, does NOT have this feature, as his competitors had accused.
So who came out as the ultimate Stuffed Zoo Staring Contest Winner? Who else? It was Marvin the Stuffed Lemur! Although other stuffed animals stared for longer times in previous rounds, all of Marvin’s competitors fell quickly. There’s just something about a lemur that makes your eyes go dry.
Keep checking the blog for more of my great work with the Stuffed Zoo Indoor Rainy Day Physical Activity Coalition and Anti-Boredom Committee!
Finn
