Chess Challenge Results
Well, this weekend brought the big StuffedZoo Spring event, and boy, no one could have expected the results. The First Annual StuffedZoo Cross-Continental Land-Mammal Head-to-Head Chess Showdown was more than a nail-biter; it was the stuffed animal event of the year.
As you may know from the previous blog entry, our competitors were Arthur the Stuffed Armadillo and Toby the Stuffed Tiger. Little would we know that it was not so much who was competing that mattered, but who was in the audience.
The opening of the game was less-than-dramatic, with Arthur setting up a simple Scholar’s Mate trap for the fierce yet crude offensive on Toby’s part. Then, things got a bit muddled, and a confused Arthur was forced into using his one chance to castle early in the battle. It was at that point that the ground was furiously shaken by some unknown force, toppling several pieces.
“He’s cheating!” Arthur yelled, pointing a gray claw at the lion.
“You ate all my crackers!” Toby yelled back. “I’m hungry!”
The game officiator, Charlotte the Stuffed Chipmunk, scanned both sides of the crowd for foul play. Perhaps it was a joint stomping effort by three buffaloes – Baldric, Blackfoot, and Burton – on Arthur’s side of the arena that caused the shake-up. Or, could it have been Chinook, Dimitri, and Dover – the three polar bears rooting for Toby the Stuffed Lion to win?
“All right,” Charlotte chirped. “I see that the ground is very wet today. Anyone responsible for this illegal stomping will surely have mud stuck between their toes.”
. . .
Forty-five minutes later, after carefully checking everyone’s feet, Charlotte found her culprit. It was Washington Walrus, with the muddy flippers of guilt to prove it.
“Washington,” Charlotte cried, “why would you interrupt such an important StuffedZoo event? Don’t you know how important this could be for Arthur and Toby?”
“I know,” the great stuffed walrus muttered, “it just makes me mad that everyone else can play chess whenever they want, while most of the year, I’m stuck either at sea or on ice, where it’s so slippery that you can’t tell who’s making what move, because everything is constantly moving.”
“I see,” Charlotte said. “Maybe if you used heavier, grippier pieces, then you could play on the ice.”
“That’s preposterous!” Washington said, flapping his muddy flippers and shaking his long tusks. “Regulation rules say that sea-chess must be played with fiddler crabs as kings and queens, sea-horses as knights and bishops, squid as rooks, and krill as pawns.”
“. . . And, the reason these pieces move unwantedly is because of the ice?”
“That’s right. It’s not fair. Say, what are these funny-looking pieces they were using today, anyway? I didn’t see legs or claws or fins on any of them. Surely that cannot be right.”
“I see,” Charlotte said wearily. “Well, I suppose Arthur and Toby will have to settle their differences another way, and all of us chess-fans will have to wait another year to crown our champion.”
