First Annual StuffedZoo Primate Snowball Fight Extravaganza Winner Announced
Well, this winter was the first-ever StuffedZoo-sponsored snowball fight event, and things couldn’t have gone better. The annual SZPSFE event is a no-holds-barred, every-player-for-themselves snowball fight between over 300 types of primates, including both Greater and Lesser apes, Old World and New. The fight was a pre-arranged four and a half hours, with a first-prize trophy and award going to the last monkey standing.
So, without further hesitation, the winner (I know you can’t wait any longer) was. . .
GLEN, the Stuffed Squirrel Monkey!
Even among his larger, land-dwelling cousins, this little tree-swinger fought like a champion, and came out on top. He left icicles in orangutan hair, left lemurs limping away, made Colobus monkeys shiver with cold, and soaked gorillas with his never-ending barrage of perfectly-crafted, firmly-packed balls of snow.
So what’s Glen’s secret? Years of working as a barber has given him both the speed and attention to detail required to win an event such as the SZPSFE. The Silverbacks, for instance, threw further and harder than Glen, but their snowballs weren’t crafted with the same care, and did little damage on impact. The Tamarins threw at amazing speeds – one report estimated a thrilling 14 snowballs per minute, but their snowballs were too small, and came apart in the air. The chimpanzees, although fierce and intelligent competitors, were sadly disqualified for illegal use of banana peels.
So there you have it, the winter champ, Glen the Stuffed Squirrel Monkey! Congrats, again, Glen. We are all very proud.
