Why Tarantulas Make The Best Stuffed Animals - Karl:Mission 89-6
Beau and I turn to head back to the jeep when I suddenly hear Patrick’s high pitch squeak. The next thing I know Patrick is climbing up my shirt like a crazed prairie dog.
Beau reacts instantly apparently thinking that I’m being attacked by a rabid rodent. With a quick swoop of his cowboy hat Patrick hits the ground.
Everything is happening too fast. I scream in fear for Patrick.
Beau raises his right boot clearly intending to dispatch this dangerous little creature.
“No!” I scream again frantically pushing Beau away and then watching as he falls in a confused heap onto some tumbleweed.
Patrick is already up and trying to climb my pants leg.
Beau still can’t figure out what’s going on but he sees Patrick clawing frantically at my pants and he’s determined to save me. Just as he’s trying to stand he sees it and freezes.
I see a strange look in his eye and all I can think about is saving Patrick. I shout, “He’s mine! Don’t hurt him!” followed desperately by, “Pleeeease.”
Beau doesn’t seem to be listening to me. I try to explain, “He’s my friend; I mean pet. He won’t…”
Beau cuts me off. Speaking through gritted teeth in an ominous voice that sounds frightening and foreign, “DON’T MOVE!”
My mind is racing. I think,” Has Beau gone mad?” But before I can say anything else he spits out, “You have a brown-tip on your back…extremely poisonous…don’t move.”
I freeze. That gives Patrick his opening. He can finally get a grip and he goes climbing up my leg and blouse.
Beau’s eyes go wide as he tries to figure out what to do. He’s never had to manage a tarantula and a crazed prairie dog at the same time. All he can think to do is grab his hat. Just as he gets a hold of his hat Patrick crests my shoulder. On the other side 2 feelers are probing their uncertain perch.
Patrick doesn’t hesitate. He hurtles his small little body directly at the tarantula. They both go flying to the ground landing a few feet apart.
Beau is starting to recover and he quickly throws his hat over the tarantula.
Patrick, Beau and I look at each other. Then slowly Beau starts to laugh. It’s a laugh that builds with volume and emotion as the entire sequence of events becomes clear.
I start laughing too. It’s a wonderful release of all the tension. Our laughs reinforce each other and it takes us several minutes to gain control.
Patrick must think we’ve gone crazy but he slowly comes over to my feet. I swoop him up in my hands and bring him up to my face and give his whiskers a kiss. “Thanks Patrick! You saved my life!” I say smiling broadly.
Turning to Beau, “Let me introduce you two properly. Beau this is Patrick. Patrick. Beau.”
“We’ll I’ll be. We’ve got a million of these little guys out here but I’ve never known anyone that had one for a pet. I gotta admit he really had me going for a second. I thought Patrick was rabid. Now I realize he’s rabid about you.
Pleased to meet you Patrick.”
We all felt such relief that we had forgotten about the hat which was starting to head west.
Beau says, “I only got a brief look but I think that’s the most beautiful brown-tipped tarantula I’ve ever seen. I guess it’s time for you to stuffocate or whatever you call it. Does it hurt the tarantula?” Beau says with obvious concern in his voice.
“No, no.” I say. “He’ll actually enjoy it. About 15 minutes after it’s over he’ll walk away with a spidery smile and not remember a thing.
| If you’ll lift your hat I’ll do the honors.”Beau grabs a stick and deftly flips his hat out of the way. For a split second the spider freezes. That’s all it takes. The stuffocator engages and one spider becomes 2 spiders. The closer spider starts stretching ethereally toward the mouth of the stuffocator in a long wispy tendril. It slowly enters the mouth and then the familiar collapse of the two spiders back into one; a forward jolt and the StuffedZoo has its brown-tipped tarantulas. |  |
| Magic link to Terry The Tarantula at the StuffedZoo.com |
Beau’s jaw is wide open. He’s speechless for a few seconds and then manages to mumble, “I thought you were just kidding.”
Then with a little more volume, “I get professor-types coming through from time to time. They’re always trying to impress me with fancy words and gizmos. I’ve learned to take it in stride. The pay is good and I don’t really care if they feel the need to talk smart.”
“You’re the only one who was just telling it straight. Thanks…and thanks for hiring me.”
“Beau you’re a real professional…Thank you! Let’s get back and celebrate.” I say.
I let out the happy tarantula. Patrick scampers into his pocket and we head to the jeep and town.
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