Stuffed Animals
Tales of the adventure, bravery, and daring of the StuffedZoo Acquisitioners

Hello everyone, this is Laurie from the Stuffed Zoo. I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately because of the change in seasons. I never know whether to expect warm or cold, and it throws my whole system out of whack.
So *cough cough* when I sit here at home wishing I could be back [...]

Continue reading “Otter Socks and Spring” »

When Jane and Abby materialized within the Sock Monkey Realm, they found themselves in a dark cave. Jane flipped on the stuffocator’s light so they could see their surroundings properly, but the light bounced and reflected off of the large crystals that jutted from the walls like broken mirrors, making it difficult for Jane and Abby to see anything at all through the glare. From the back of the cave they heard a yelp and a loud crashing noise, followed by what sounded like twenty people all scratching their nails on a blackboard at once.

Continue reading “Braving the Realm of the Sock Monkeys - Part 2” »

It was a dark and stormy night when Abby first learned of the Sock Monkeys. Abby and Jane sat together on a tattered sofa in the warehouse wing of the Stuffed Zoo, talking about Jane’s latest acquisition, a stuffed monkey tree house, while the rain battered the metal roofing with a deafening clatter.

“So when can I be an Acquisitioner?” Abby asked, not quite disguising the whine in her voice.

“Well, Abby, when you prove that you can handle the responsibility!”

Continue reading “Braving the Realm of the Sock Monkeys - Part 1” »

We are proud to announce that Margaret the Stuffed Hedgehog has already achieved the goal she set out for herself this year with her New Year’s Resolution! She wanted to gain ten pounds, and she’s done it with the help of the Stuffed Zoo. Here’s how she looked before her remarkable achievement:

 
 
Sure, Margaret is cute [...]

Continue reading “Margaret the Hedgehog’s New Mystery Diet” »

Olivia the Stuffed Ostrich here (the only ostrich in the picture below) with a couple stuffed animal safety tips that you might not have thought about!

Continue reading “Olivia the Stuffed Ostrich Offers Stuffed Animal Safety Tips” »

The second entry in the Stuffed Zoo “5 Reasons to Give a Stuffed Animal” video series is here! This time, we focus on the stuffitarian(1) aspect of our enterprise

(1) Stuffitarian (adj): Promoting stuffed animal welfare and advocating for social reform. See also, Philanstuffist.

Continue reading “Reason to Give a Stuffed Animal #4 is here!” »

In a curious development this week, new photographs of the late pop icon James Dean (star of Rebel Without a Cause) were discovered in the basement of a major hollywood studio.

Continue reading “James Dean Liked Dolphins” »

Here at the Stuffed Zoo we care about our stuffed animals, and this Holiday season we’re releasing a series of five videos related to stuffed animal activism in the hopes that we will convince more people to keep stuffed animals in mind when giving this year.

Reason #5 - Engagement

Continue reading “Watch the Stuffed Zoo Video!” »

Continued from part 1

Transcript of the video feed from Jane’s Stuffocator:

“Hello? Hello? V? Are you there?” Jane waited for a moment, and received no response. “Darn! Out of batteries.”

“Beggin’ yer pardon, miss, but if ye’re done playin’ with that boop bleep contraption, maybe you’d lend me a hand with this foul Black Tarot pirate.”

“Oh fine. Where are your cannons?”

“Cannons? Oh ye mean like in the moving pictures. We don’t do no service to no wimpy cannons. We is real pirates, meaning we do battle with limericks!”

Continue reading “Cutlass Crenshaw the Stuffed Monkey Pirate Joins Forces!” »

Hello everyone, this is V from the Stuffed Zoo. We have ourselves a little pirate situation… WAIT. Scratch that. Just received a text message from Jane.

“omg pirate set ur boat on fire”

Make that a big pirate problem. Here’s the deal:

Continue reading “Cutlass Crenshaw the Stuffed Monkey Pirate Attacks!” »

Good morning, everyone. This is Finn from the Stuffed Zoo research and technology division. Due to a federal injunction, I have been forced to release the plans for my top-secret device, the Stuffocator, to the public. I believe that, far from wanting the technology to become available to everyone, the National Security Agency wants it to be dismissed as a hoax in an attempt to label me as a mad man instead of a mad scientist.

Continue reading “Stuffocator Plans Released to Public” »

Hello everyone, this is Finn from the Stuffed Zoo. To our surprise, we received a letter this morning from a famous stuffed Langur Guru in India humbly requesting that we provide him with a home in America. He also made some very shocking prophecies about the Stuffed Zoo. Because I am the manager of the Zoo as well as the scientific director, it is my obligation to make the text of this letter available to the public. The following text is an exact transcription of Nanak’s letter:

Continue reading “Nanak the Wise Langur Stuffed Monkey’s Letter” »

Hi everyone, this is Jane from the Stuffed Zoo. Sometimes my weekends can get a little bit hectic, and I must say that Sherbert getting stuck on that roof didn’t do much for my stress level, so I went out to a dance club over the weekend to blow off some steam. I usually go to clubs that play techno music because I love to do the robot, and I can keep my stuffocator with me as part of a costume.

Continue reading “Jane Takes Buster the Cool Stuffed Cow Back to the Zoo” »

A view of Sherbert being rescued by a fire crew. / Abby V. for StuffedZoo Photography

10/31/2008

Tensions were high today when a stuffed fish was reported missing. The report was filed with the Corvallis Police Department at 9:00 AM Pacific Time, and not soon after, Deputy Vorders received a call from Jon Boisvert, a local resident.

“The man said the fish just flew out of his sink…

Continue reading “Sherbert the Stuffed Fish Comes Home!” »

Hello, this is Laurie from the Stuffed Zoo. You know, I’m the one who usually does the actual packing of stuffed animals to send out to loving homes. I love these animals, and none of my friends can believe how lucky I am to be working here.

Continue reading “Sherbert the Stuffed Fish Swims Away!” »

Hi guys i just lerned to type and its hard with my hoofs.

Anyway I only want to say a cupple things:

1) I need anew home cuz its nice here, an Jane and V and Laurie and Suli and Abby is nice too me, but sometimes I gets lonely and wants more huggs.

2) Peeple is always saying Im just like the Pumbaa guy from Lion King but Im not. He’s a warthog and smells bad compared too me.

3) I am a Javelina which is not a pig its actually a peccary. V sez we is “gentically distinked,” and my descripshun on the Stuffed Zoo site is technicly wrong.

You can find me here to take home for to fullfilling my wish

kthxbai Love U!

<3 Josephina

Continue reading “A Brief Message From Josephina the Stuffed Javelina” »

From Part 1:

When I arrived, I was thrown in the middle of a frigid snowstorm. The impact of the cold air on my lungs nearly made me choke! I put on my portable heating poncho (powered by the Stuffocator) and walked forward into the driving snowstorm, barely able to see three feet in front of me. But to my great joy, after only a few miles, I saw four feet in front of me. Four big, hairy, ones.

—————————————–

Continue reading “Jane Rescues Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth Part 2” »

Welcome back, everyone! This is Jane from the Stuffed Zoo, and boy have we got a treat for you this time! Straight from the Pleistocene era: Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth. It was not easy to travel back in time far enough to acquire this cuddly ancestor to the modern-day pachyderm, and I had to enlist a little bit of help from Finn, our resident mad scientist.

It started like this:

Continue reading “Jane Rescues Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth Part 1” »

Continued from Part 1:

“What? You know where the gold is?”

On a distant branch I could see the tiny stuffed gorilla jumping up and down in excitement. “Gold. Me. Follow. OOH OOH!” he said.

I could tell this was going to be a long day.

Continue reading “Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy Loves the Stuffed Zoo! Part 2” »

Hello, this is V from the Stuffed Zoo, and today I’m going to tell you about my adventure in the dangerous Throwacian Jungle of the Stuffed Animal World, and how I found Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy!

It started like this:

Continue reading “Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy Loves the Stuffed Zoo! Part 1” »