Hello everyone, this is V from the Stuffed Zoo. We have ourselves a little pirate situation… WAIT. Scratch that. Just received a text message from Jane.
“omg pirate set ur boat on fire”
Make that a big pirate problem. Here’s the deal:
Continue reading “Cutlass Crenshaw the Stuffed Monkey Pirate Attacks!” »
Good morning, everyone. This is Finn from the Stuffed Zoo research and technology division. Due to a federal injunction, I have been forced to release the plans for my top-secret device, the Stuffocator, to the public. I believe that, far from wanting the technology to become available to everyone, the National Security Agency wants it to be dismissed as a hoax in an attempt to label me as a mad man instead of a mad scientist.
Continue reading “Stuffocator Plans Released to Public” »
Hello everyone, this is Finn from the Stuffed Zoo. To our surprise, we received a letter this morning from a famous stuffed Langur Guru in India humbly requesting that we provide him with a home in America. He also made some very shocking prophecies about the Stuffed Zoo. Because I am the manager of the Zoo as well as the scientific director, it is my obligation to make the text of this letter available to the public. The following text is an exact transcription of Nanak’s letter:
Continue reading “Nanak the Wise Langur Stuffed Monkey’s Letter” »
Hi everyone, this is Jane from the Stuffed Zoo. Sometimes my weekends can get a little bit hectic, and I must say that Sherbert getting stuck on that roof didn’t do much for my stress level, so I went out to a dance club over the weekend to blow off some steam. I usually go to clubs that play techno music because I love to do the robot, and I can keep my stuffocator with me as part of a costume.
Continue reading “Jane Takes Buster the Cool Stuffed Cow Back to the Zoo” »
A view of Sherbert being rescued by a fire crew. / Abby V. for StuffedZoo Photography
10/31/2008
Tensions were high today when a stuffed fish was reported missing. The report was filed with the Corvallis Police Department at 9:00 AM Pacific Time, and not soon after, Deputy Vorders received a call from Jon Boisvert, a local resident.
“The man said the fish just flew out of his sink…
Continue reading “Sherbert the Stuffed Fish Comes Home!” »
Hello, this is Laurie from the Stuffed Zoo. You know, I’m the one who usually does the actual packing of stuffed animals to send out to loving homes. I love these animals, and none of my friends can believe how lucky I am to be working here.
Continue reading “Sherbert the Stuffed Fish Swims Away!” »
Hi guys i just lerned to type and its hard with my hoofs.
Anyway I only want to say a cupple things:
1) I need anew home cuz its nice here, an Jane and V and Laurie and Suli and Abby is nice too me, but sometimes I gets lonely and wants more huggs.
2) Peeple is always saying Im just like the Pumbaa guy from Lion King but Im not. He’s a warthog and smells bad compared too me.
3) I am a Javelina which is not a pig its actually a peccary. V sez we is “gentically distinked,” and my descripshun on the Stuffed Zoo site is technicly wrong.
You can find me here to take home for to fullfilling my wish
kthxbai Love U!
<3 Josephina
Continue reading “A Brief Message From Josephina the Stuffed Javelina” »
From Part 1:
When I arrived, I was thrown in the middle of a frigid snowstorm. The impact of the cold air on my lungs nearly made me choke! I put on my portable heating poncho (powered by the Stuffocator) and walked forward into the driving snowstorm, barely able to see three feet in front of me. But to my great joy, after only a few miles, I saw four feet in front of me. Four big, hairy, ones.
—————————————–
Continue reading “Jane Rescues Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth Part 2” »
Welcome back, everyone! This is Jane from the Stuffed Zoo, and boy have we got a treat for you this time! Straight from the Pleistocene era: Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth. It was not easy to travel back in time far enough to acquire this cuddly ancestor to the modern-day pachyderm, and I had to enlist a little bit of help from Finn, our resident mad scientist.
It started like this:
Continue reading “Jane Rescues Molly the Stuffed Woolly Mammoth Part 1” »
Continued from Part 1:
“What? You know where the gold is?”
On a distant branch I could see the tiny stuffed gorilla jumping up and down in excitement. “Gold. Me. Follow. OOH OOH!” he said.
I could tell this was going to be a long day.
Continue reading “Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy Loves the Stuffed Zoo! Part 2” »
Hello, this is V from the Stuffed Zoo, and today I’m going to tell you about my adventure in the dangerous Throwacian Jungle of the Stuffed Animal World, and how I found Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy!
It started like this:
Continue reading “Gomer the Stuffed Gorilla Tossing Toy Loves the Stuffed Zoo! Part 1” »
From Part 1:
“WHAT?!?” Jane and I exclaimed in unison.
“Well guys, it’s kind of a long story…”
—————–
Continue reading “Mysterious Stranger Drops Off Suli the Baby Stuffed Seal Part 2” »
Hello, this is Laurie from the Stuffed Zoo letting you know about Suli the Baby Stuffed Seal, who was dropped off at our warehouse by a Mysterious Stranger wearing a black mask and a top hat! We don’t know who he is, but he showed up on our security tapes, giving the camera a thumbs-up.
Suli came to us in a wicker basket, wrapped in a blanket so only her big black eyes were showing from beneath when I carefully lifted a corner of the blanket to see what was inside. As soon as Suli saw me, she jumped out of the basket and onto my shoulder, and happily began to bark!
Continue reading “Mysterious Stranger Drops Off Suli the Baby Stuffed Seal” »
From Part 1: Ernest is unliked by the other Stuffed Reindeer, and leaves his post guarding the North Pole for just a moment in the hope that Santa will invite him in for dinner anyway.
“Call me if you need anything, Ernest.”
“I will Santa,” said Ernest. Dejectedly, Ernest started to drag himself back to the North Pole, but when he gazed off into the distance, he couldn’t find it! Ernest was in a panic. He galloped around and around the area, looking for it, but he couldn’t find it.
Continue reading “Jane Finds Eager Ernest the Stuffed Reindeer Part 2” »
Hi! I’m Jane, an Acquisitioner for the Stuffed Zoo, and this is the story of how I found Eager Ernest the Stuffed Reindeer. Please enjoy Ernest’s tale:
Eager Ernest lived near the North Pole in the hollowed-out stump of a giant tree. In the Real World, the North Pole would be far too cold for reindeer, but in the Stuffed Animal World, the North Pole is many degrees warmer, and a bright red and white striped pole sticks up from the ground at the very northernmost point. Ernest’s official job was to watch the North Pole to make sure that no one stole it.
Continue reading “Jane Finds Eager Ernest the Stuffed Reindeer” »
This time the trip through the shower is quick. I toss on some clothes and head to the StuffedZoo. Fortunately the LA traffic is only heavy…which means it keeps moving and includes the usual friendly acknowledgements along the way. I get to the StuffedZoo about 2:30PM and head back to Finn’s office.
Finn, Karl, Zoe and […]
Continue reading “Back At The StuffedZoo” »
Sleep overcomes me instantly. Even the pile of mail blocking the entrance to my apartment door is a just barely identifiable nuisance.
I toss my duffle bag on the living-room couch and head straight to the shower. This is my standard routine after a long flight. I stand under the hot water and let it bathe […]
Continue reading “V’s First Day Home” »
The flight home was a lot more fun than I expected. Even when I was sleeping it was great to know that Karl was there.
Karl told me all about her adventure. Evidently Karl’s mission went a little smoother than mine. She got out of her pontoon plane, walked about 15 feet, saw the perfect wolf […]
Continue reading “Owl Eats Harry Potter - V:Mission 2 Episode 24” »
“See ya Nick…I mean Consul Taubman..I mean…”
“Just ‘Nick’ is fine V. I think we can skip the formalities at this point. I hope the rest of your trip home goes well and he gives me his big sparkling white smile. The restaurants at the Frankfurt airport aren’t that great but you can get a reasonable […]
Continue reading “Owl Eats Harry Potter - V:Mission 2 Episode 23” »
The next update to the StuffedZoo Tales will occur this weekend, July 12-13.
I am involved in secret treaty negotiations over stuffed animal rights to clean stuffing that will keep me consumed until then. I wish Icould tell you more but I’ve already shared more than I was supposed to.
V
Sponsored by: www.StuffedZoo.com
Continue reading “StuffedZoo Tales News Topic 5” »
I was born an orphan and left on the doorstep of a Catholic church in Fairbanks, Alaska. After my 14th summer of indentured servitude at the orphanage I escaped to a dusty town in west Texas. The next couple of years took me from dishwasher to paperboy to reporter to wildcatter. That was the start of many life adventures including my current job as an acquistioner for the StuffedZoo.com
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