How to Say Goodbye to Stuffed Animals

Whether through loss or tragic mishap one of the toughest things a parent of a young child can face is how to help a child say goodbye to a stuffed animal that has become very dear.

Young minds and young emotions aren't familiar with the concept of loss. Let's face it, many of us adults aren't great with the concept either so it's hard to expect our kids to understand.

Once it's clear that the stuffed animal buddy has gone to the land of no return it's time to create a plan. The plan should include 3 main ingredients: 1) a strong showing of parental love, 2) clear acknowledgment of the loss, 3) a path to healing. This will take some time so don't be in a hurry. It might also take a lot of patience. Kids express themselves differently and many kids start by lashing out in anger. Remember the anger is at the loss not at you, even if it seems like it is.

Let's start with a strong showing of parental love. Every parent and child has their own way of expressing their bond for each other. That's the right starting place. We recommend hugs because it is similar to the physical contact the child had with their stuffed animal friend and let's them know that hugs are always just a couple of arms away.

Acknowledging the loss of the stuffed animal is frequently the hardest part. Simple clear statements are best. Make them from your child's perspective like "you know you've looked everywhere [stuffed animal name] could be." "You've done a great job looking and I know [stuffed animal name] would be proud of how hard you looked." "You know [stuffed animal name] can't come back or I'm sure you would have found him/her."

Once you've established the loss it's time to help the healing by looking backward and forward. Looking back honors the stuffed animal friend. Statements like "You will always be able to remember the fun you had with [stuffed animal name.]" "You were great friends; and as a great friend [stuffed animal name] would want his friend to continue to have fun because that's what great friends do." Then slowly engage with questions about what your child might like to try to do for fun. Maybe playing a game, or reading a book, or going for an ice cream (my personal favorite) will do the trick. Letting them know there will be other stuffed animal buddies in their life can help too.

Maybe more hugs...and love...